Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm grumpy...


So... I really hate that saying "When it rains it pours" mostly because it's true. I had hoped to spend this entire week cleaning and organizing and preparing for my husband to come home Thursday night. Well to throw another over used phrase at you "the best laid plans..." often get ruined by stupid crap that decides to happen all at once!

It all started Monday when I had a pretty good day of running errands and having dinner with a friend and wanted to take a relaxing shower to end the night... then BOOM my nice hot shower was crashed by the biggest, ugliest, craziest looking bug sitting on my shower head who then proceeded to jump on to my newly cleaned hair! After putting on the best 10 minute naked, wet, screaming, slipping, stomping show on earth I finally managed to coax the beast down the drain and rinse the rest of the soap off. Through some internet research I found out that it was a Brownbanded Cockroach... YUCK!! I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, feeling hundereds of imaginary bugs crawling on me and waiting for the ceiling to crash in with all their buddies that I was sure were breeding in my attic above.

I finally fell asleep at 6am only to be awoken at 7am by terrible cramps from my early monthly visitor followed shortly by Kaylyn's usual "Mama I'm Awake" song. So half concious I fixed Kaylyn breakfast, threw down 4 Advil with scalding hot coffee and called the exterminator. An unusually helpful man told me that these cockroaches unlike others, do not always travel in packs and unless I wanted to pay $400 for them to look and say there were no more I should go up into my attic and check things out for myself and maybe set off a bug bomb to be safe. Great idea except for the fact that my attic entrance consists of a hole in the celing of my closet with a piece of plyboard for a door. My ladder choices are 1. a 6ft ladder in the shed that I can neither lift nor fit into my closet, or 2. a 2 step stool that leaves me 2.5 ft short of reaching the door. I decided that this could be tackled after getting dressed and running to Walmart for the bug bomb.

After throwing on an attractive t-shirt, jean, flip flop, frizzy hair, no makeup outfit I convinced Kaylyn to abandon Handy Manny by bribing her with new crayons and made the trip to Walmart. Came home, bug bomb and new crayons in hand... set up Kaylyn in the unusually hot basement... why is it so hot in our basement when the air conditioning unit is on and actually in the basement... I opened the work room door to investigate only to find myself standing barefoot in an inch of very gross water! After stifling some un Kaylyn approved words I called my absent husband, who said he didn't mind the call during his brake, but his irritated tone told me otherwise... he said rest assured it was only the filter... look for the dimensions and go buy a new one.

So now after identifying the dimensions, changing into a less wet tshirt and convincing Kaylyn to abandon her new crayons by bribing her with a Happy Meal I set off once again for Walmart...
Home again this time new filter, Happy Meal, and extra large Iced Coffee in hand I occupyed Kaylyn with her lunch and favorite Charlie and Lola DVD, cleaned up the gross ac water, replaced the damned filter and headed upstairs to tackle my main project of the day.

Armed with my 2 step, step stool, bug bomb, and flashlight I put on another acrobatic display by jumping the plyboard off the hinges and swinging myself feet and ass first into the creepy dark attic. Luckily I found no bugs, and set off the bug bomb as instructed, just to be safe. The ac is now working fine and no other water has accumulated in 24 hours.

So I guess all in all I am a stronger woman for all this, and if all else fails at least I know I could have a promising career in the circus!